Love is in the Air

It's the time of year for brides and all things bridal...the photos of the lovely blonde are how I was blessed to kick off this year's wedding season. We met up with Kellye G at the historic Paisano Hotel in Marfa recently to do her bridal portraits. The generous staff granted us access to a brilliant balcony room.The funny thing is how Kellye G and I were introduced. Drew, Meredith and I were loading a moving truck at the storage unit in Alpine and Kellye G called to see if she could bring me a deposit which reserves me for the date of the wedding. I'm not exactly sure how she heard about me, but she was certain she wanted us to do her wedding photography. In no time, she pulls up at the storage unit and hands me a check for twice the normal deposit. That's trusting. To hand money to a woman who is obviously leaving town & to know that you still want this crazy lady to do your wedding photos! After working with Kellye G on the bridals, I know we will have a fabulous time with this bride & her groom Cody at the June event.

and now, if my crazy website hosting issues will go away, Kellye G. will get to see how beautiful she is and envision living her very own happily ever after.

i digress...which is really hard for me to do.

After thinking about Lori & Trace's responses to my last blog, I have to admit some things.

a) my response to Drew's schedule was TOTALLY SELFISH! 

b) Lori mentioned that when I get the chance to do my own thing, I should and enjoy it. After much consideration, it has come to the attention of our household that I don't ever get to do my own thing. Because I don't allow myself to do my own thing. No wonder I'm stressed! 

So, we evaluated why...we being, me & the voices in my head.

Something happened when we moved to Roswell - a switch in my faulty little brain flicked off the idea that I can't do anything by myself. This hasn't ever been part of my life. I've LOVED to go do things alone. Hell, the majority of my favorite things are loner activities.

But, I've relied on Drew for so much that I've created a "way out" for myself. Then, allowing myself to be trapped at the house creates tension.  So, I've decided to eliminate the pessimistic attitude & go out there & do things by myself.

Don't forget that we are still relatively new at this married stuff - our second anniversary is coming up in July. I hadn't factored in that we NEED to experience some growing pains.

Oh, and any idea how many new friends I have in Roswell?

none.

well, one or maybe two, but we haven't been able to get together for weeks...

Saturday, Drew had to go watch a scrimmage & I was home alone. But - in an effort to prove to myself that I'm capable of anything, I packed up the kids. We went to the store. We went to McD's. We went to the park and had a picnic. We even tried to get Stroman's haircut, but the barber shop was closed. Back to the park - taking those muchkins to the park by myself is a challenge...but I changed my attitude and loved every joyous second of it! 

And Drew and talked about the things I want us to MAKE time for -- and he didn't realize I was shorting myself those things...he just figured I didn't want to do them, or I would be doing them.

In the next week, Stroman is going to start going to the preschool for 2 - maybe 3 days a week - for 1/2 days. That way, I'll have time to - read, get my hair cut, work out - and even shave my crazy legs! I have to say, it's going to be hard not to have my little guy with me 24/7! but he needs the exposure to other caretakers...

Which leads to action #2 - We are incorporating the use of a babysitter into our home. Mind you, this might sound like we are just going to start handing over care of kids all of the time to someone else. But Stroman is 14 months old and has been with caretakers other than church nursery & grandparents a total of 4 times - no longer than 3 hours each time! The other day I wanted to go workout but the kids had scarlet fever and couldn't be in the offered child care at the gym & CYDNEY actually asked me to get them a sitter so I could go...

I have the sitter's name, number and I'm prepared to use it for just such events.

#3 - This summer, Drew & I are going to take advantage of a family property in Cabo & go on a much-needed, adult-only, bring on the Mojitos- vacation!

I'll have another post today...stay tuned.

pissed off.

Classy title, don't you think.

Let me start with the disclaimers - I believe marriage is a commitment, not just the happy-go-lucky feelings that first accompanied our initial dates. I love my husband. I'm committed to our marriage but sometimes I feel like I should just be committed - padded walls, timely doses of little blue, pink and yellow pills.

Last week, I had the blessing of wrestling two kids in hideously tiny room at doctor's office. We love our doctor so I kindly dismissed the hour we sat in HTR. Sat is an interesting word. No one sat. Cyd climbed. Stroman ran from wall to wall. I chased them.

I called dear husband 3 times, in search of backup. The assailants had me cornered. Holding Stroman, who weighs in at 26 pounds in one arm while trying to lift Cyd (43 pounds) onto the exam table required my innate super-human strength. But after a while, holding a 26 pound muscle who is attempting to kick his way free is equivalent to Kryptonite! Meanwhile, Cyd is feeling quite punk, but still finds the energy to ask, point, question, touch, etc. & I love her curious nature, so I'm attempting to answer. Get it? Craziness X2. And don't forget that both had runny noses - so I'm wiping constantly to keep doc from walking in on boogie land heathens. 

My calls were in vain. I knew he was on the football field because his team had practice. I also knew that Cyd was sick & HAD to see the doc. But I was ready to ask if there was anyone - a hurt player, one of the player's girlfriends, a wife of another coach, someones nosey neighbor, ANYONE that might come help me. I just needed Stroman entertained for 20 minutes so I could answer Doc's questions without having to yell over his screaming! Nothing. No answer to my calls.

Note the title of this blog.

That read, fast forward to this afternoon. I've been working all day. Stroman took a decent nap. House is relatively under control. Family plans are to go to the gym. We haven't made it all week & I'm pumped. I NEED to workout right now to relieve some stress. After picking up Cydney at school we have errands to run & then, plan to meet DH at house. At 5:30, we see the practice field is clear & head home, expecting DH any moment.

5:45 - nothing. decide to plant the geraniums we bought this weekend.

6:15 - phone rings. DH. At emergency room. Player hurt. No one with player. DH is going to stay and sit with him so he's not alone. 

This is when my good witch personality is supposed to say, "Honey, you do whatever you need to do."

But that wicked witch snatched the mic away from good witch and snarled, "What!?!"

pause

"I need to stay here with him."

My brain is bombarded by reasons DH shouldn't have to stay at the ER - i.e. this is a college kid, not an infant ; where is the trainer? ; doesn't he have any friends who don't have families waiting at home for them?, etc.

"We can go to the gym when I get home."

"No we can't. You won't be here until 7:00 at the earliest. The kids need to be in bed by 8 & have dinner. I guess I could feed them right now...no. It won't work. Just stay. But don't forget that you couldn't leave the guys for us last week when I needed you at the doctor. It sure is easy to leave us for them."

Okay - Did you see how I was doing decently - you know, rational thought, right up until the last two lines where I just acted like a selfish twit?

I hate it when my words hurt others. I know it is part of his job & I know he'd rather be home with us. But I hate that sometimes he's forced to make a choice.

Forced by me. 

I'd apologize to him right now, but he's at the ER picking the kid up to take him back to the dorm & get him settled in. And that's the right thing to do. So why am I still pissed off?

To Do List:

1. Share past week with blog family.

• scarlet fever - cyd & stroman
• stroman being full-body sanitized, then bathed due to curious hands in the potty while sister was using the toilet. (remember to describe the screaming and laughter from Cyd as she tried to get me to come to the bathroom)
• new marketing research job
• new health/wellness opportunity - my skin is gorgeous for the first time ever!

2. Post new photos

• stroman going up & down slide without help
• cydney's new bicycle
• anything else on all those digital cards you haven't cleared off

3. Explain why inept people who pass the buck make your tongue itch -- examples : Walgreens Pharmacy, BCBS insurance, WTU. That should be enough examples.

TAX TIME!

a) we did our taxes. after one day of sorting through all of my record-keeping for laren bridges : photography & deciphering all the medical receipts, the taxes are done. filed. yeah!

um...our 2007 medical records are quite interesting to me. let's see - feb. 12th, child born. said child diagnosed with severe acid reflux a few months later. i had to be checked for blood clots after stroman's birth because i'd lost feeling/control in my left leg...ER visit & a follow-up ultrasound exam of legs. other child, cydney, had 2 ER visits for what has been determined to be PFAPA (periodic fever, aphthous stomatitis, pharyngitis, cervical adenitis) syndrome. we're talking 103-104 degree fever, but not lethargic or complaining. one night at 2 a.m. in the ER i'm quite positive that we were not treated quickly because her behavior (other than vomiting on the nurse) was normal. she was waving to other patients and saying hello to all the doctors. drew and i almost wanted to bribe her to act a little sicker. the end of that visit? 5:30 a.m - they asked ME TO GIVE HER A DOSE OF MOTRIN! that's what i'd been doing at home. thanks for your time. curse word. harsh curse word. disbelief. more cursing.

then we did lab work to have a guide to her blood when she's not having symptoms - and of course, she hasn't had another dramatic attack.

i was bitten by a poisonous spider following a photo shoot and had to have an ER visit myself. leg was inflamed, raised, etc. the nice nurse broke out a sharpie and circled the area so we could monitor any changes. the bite had developed overnight from a small circle (size of a pencil eraser) to larger than my man hand (seriously - had my schedule been clear, i totally had that guest appearance on Seinfield). the next day i had to meet with the surgeon...b/c many spider bites like this (WARNING - GRAPHIC!) require a surgeon to piece your flesh back together. she put me on meds for leprosy & another double-strength antibiotic. a few weeks later, life was better - still have a red spot where the infection was attempting to claim my leg.

b) photography is going well. and i'm meeting with jodi tomorrow to discuss a new job. it would be PT/work from home...research for marketing about ranch properties. i'm amazed to be offered an opportunity like this!

c) my friend, lori, is embarking on a vlog of her adventures in losing weight. ladies, most of us know that our weight/measurements/true feelings about how we look are hard to open up about. i think lori is a delightful woman and she'll keep it real during her journey, so read, watch & support as you will. also, drew and i are trying to get in shape & i'm trying to lose pounds - watching what we eat based on the SixWeekBody.com plan & we're working out 3-5 times a week. in the past week, i've dropped 4 pounds, but i have to say, i'm fighting those cravings for carbs & sweets. the basics of the eating plan for our body type - no salt, no added sugar, no cooking in oil or butter, eat 6 times a day, small portions. it makes sense - quick changes, etc. whatever works for you, do it.

d) my friend meredith can keep you up to date on American Idol, but I have to admit last night I watched it for the first time...while on the elliptical machine. David Cook - there's my vote.