stink eye

this a.m. we woke with the mission of capturing some cheerful holiday photos before we took the lovely Christmas tree down.

no such luck.

kids were gripe-a-licious - wait, you say, holiday photos?? it's freaking January 12th! normal people head to the studio around the beginning of November to get their professional pics done for the holidays...

yeah, well, look - i'm a photographer and i have no professional photos of my own kids...the cobblers child has no shoes...

and this seemed to be the day.

so, drew and i got up early*while on vacation* fought through the "i don't wanna take photos. i'm cold. not in front of the tree..." - whine, whine, whine.

meanwhile, Stroman wouldn't even think about acting like his normal, happy self. jerk.

so, after 3 spankings for cyd and 1 v. stern look for stroman, this is what i got.

the stink eye. see how they have both perfected the teenage angst/who the hell are you? look...

fyi, 8-ft. pre-lit Christmas tree is for give-away. we are moving. i'm not taking it with us. any takers?

and, comments about the evil of spanking are NOT welcome here, unless you are in agreement w/ discipline and have found other methods. let me say, if it works, it works. and spanking works for us. so for the haters, back off.

new year. new plans.

I was often bewildered by the task of motherhood, that precarious balance between total surrender and totalitarianism.
(J. Nozipo Maraire)

Remember my boycott for Thanksgiving? I think we all saw that as the first step toward the inevitable…and now, the time has come to acknowledge that next Christmas Eve & Christmas Day, we, the Drew Bridges family, will be gathered casually around our own tree in our own home.

This Christmas we did the normal “run around the state like crazy to try to keep everyone happy” thing. Let’s see…Christmas Eve night Stroman screamed for 2 ½ hours straight while one side of the family was together to try to celebrate (Drew & I were able to catch up with … no one! b/c we were trying to help soothe Stroman), I got a sinus infection, Stroman has suffered through an ear infection during the whole thing, I think Drew and I managed to work 2 pretty serious arguments into the mix and I was angry almost the entire time…

Prior to leaving Alpine we were in the pharmacy to get Rx’s filled for the 3 weeks on the road and saw a friend whose daughter is a former school-mate of Cyd’s. She asked if we were going or staying & then said that she had put her foot down and they were staying home. She said she was tired of spending the holidays pissed off. Well, me too!

I allow myself to get totally worked up over comments people make (like the insensitive crap my sister-in-law, Linda, says…I can hardly stand to talk to her, much less handle her commentary on my child-rearing) see – worked up, just typing about it my heart-rate increases. I get tired of living out of a suitcase and having the kids off-schedule and having people expect me to be “on” 24/7. I have work to do and keep up with. I have a schedule for the kids that flies out the window and when I try to enforce it, I hear “oh, just let them play.”

Do I continue to be the bitch and say, no, I’m the mother and I say, bed –now? Or should I cave so that…so, what? So that someone might like me? They won’t like me b/c I let Cyd stay up 20 more minutes. They definitely don’t respect me for swatting Stroman’s hand for touching something he shouldn’t. But does the world not realize that good kids are made, not born? Wanna know why Brit Spears & her sassy little sister are a mess? She wasn’t disciplined. Ever. Not gonna happen on my watch. These kids might end up being big-ass messes, but not because I was an absent parent.

I digress.

Next Christmas, if it makes your year to watch the kids open gifts and rummage through stockings, you are welcome to get a hotel room in Alpine or wherever we happen to be living and come over around 9 on Christmas morning. I’ll have coffee ready. Probably won’t cook breakfast. If you hang around for dinner, we’ll have whatever I make and I don’t want any help. I love to cook. It’s not a hassle, it is fun. However, you are welcome to do the dishes. RSVP by December 1, 2008.

P.S. I am not an activity coordinator. If you want to find things to do in Alpine, look around and pick something. I’m sure it will be thrilling.

again, we end with pics. stroman, cyd & aunt alex, dad shows stroman the fine art of ripping open packages, cyd & cousin jacee enjoy the dollhouse, stroman & momma

seriously? SERIOUSLY!!

i have to admit. i wished for so long that this time wouldn't come. that my darling boy could stay little and cuddle and need me...

but this week, Stroman started pulling up on furniture (not new), letting go (new) and walking where he thinks he needs to be.

HE'S ONLY 10 1/2 MONTHS OLD!!!

Hopefully, I'll have photos for you soon. Husband is working on the video...we can't figure out why it won't upload correctly...

the love affair between little girls and horses...

"Mommy, tell me the princess pony story again."

-say please.-

"PLEAASSSEE"

-when i was about 8 years old, Butch, you know, Papa, asked me to get my boots on to go to the red barn with him. i grabbed my boots and asked 10 million questions about why we were going to the barn. but i already knew. i was getting my own horse.

"yeah," she said with a sly smile. she's heard this story so many times that she tells people the story like it happened to her.

-so, we went down to the barn and there was a man there with three horses for me to choose from. i rode them all down a little road in the pasture away from the barn. mom, my brother brian and butch were all waiting for me after each ride and asked how i liked the horse. one horse was what we call barn-crazy. i rode her away from the barn and before i knew it she spun around and raced back to the barn. i couldn't get her to stop or turn and she threw me off. I went right through a tree trunk that was shaped like a V and didn't really have any scratches. But that made my brother very mad at the man who brought the horses. Mom and Butch ran to me and I was okay, just a little shaken.

"yeah and my brother, Brian...I mean, Uncle Brian yelled at the horse guy didn't he, Mom."

-well, he wasn't happy with him, but i don't remember Brian yelling...anyway, that day i picked out a beautiful bay mare who didn't have any white markings on her, which is pretty rare. and i named my horse

"your princess pony..."

-i named my PRINCESS PONY cotton candy and we called her CC for short. i rode her everywhere. i used her to work cattle. i rode her for fun. my friends came to spend the night and we'd all ride. she took very good care of me.

"momma, can i ride cotton candy when we go see Papa & Nana?"

-well, baby, we don't have her anymore. (how do you tell a 3 year old that CC died several years ago when she has that look of awe on her face??) but i bet we can find a horse for you to ride.

"can i ride your horse momma?"

- you mean The Waitress? baby, we can't ride her right now. She's going to have a baby and we don't want her to be stressed. but there are lots of other horses to choose from...Blue, George, Tex...maybe even Pretty Boy

in the end, she rode George. however, in my darling daughter's ever present sass, she decided to rename him Lady George because that's what a princess pony should be named.

Merry Christmas!

Big Red Wins State

let's start by saying that the v. first night i met my lovely husband Drew, his friend Big Red talked me into having a shot of Sangria. I know what you are thinking...who in the WORLD shoots Sangria. Big Red. Red was Drew's roomie for years in various homes of disrepair around Alpine. Red was the best man in our wedding and Drew was in his wedding. Red married a lovely woman from Monahans & left Sul Ross to coach at Farmersville.

AND - TONIGHT, RED'S TEAM WON STATE!!! This is huge for him as a second-year coach at the high school and we are so proud of him. He's been through too much junk with this team - parents of HS students being pains - "little jimmy isn't getting enough playing time" etc. and the challenges of a new marriage.

i wish i had a pic of Red to share with you. he's a good ol' boy.

CONGRATS Red!

oh, and thanks for being part of why Drew and I are together.

the crib is comin' down

"but why," you ask. "he's only 10 months old?"

true & for the next couple of weeks *hopefully not much longer* he'll be napping and sleeping in the pack and play.

today, i am packing up and staging our house to sell. once sold, we will relocate across town in a home that we will be renting...which might sound like a step down, but actually it will almost double our square footage and the kids will no longer be sharing a room.

but if you ask cyd - the individual rooms are more of a punishment than a joy. who knows, i might make the 3rd bedroom my office & just happen to have a bunch of Stroman's stuff in there too.

this is transititon season for football coaches and we are simply trying to be ahead of the game if we do relocate outside of Alpine for professional reasons. if we stay (and we would like to stay) we need more room & the person we will be renting from needs to get out from under a payment. plus, plus!

but it is sad to be taking down his crib. because the next time he uses it, i'm expecting it will be in the toddler bed form.

they grow up too quickly.

love

how many of you have said, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you."?

i've said it. i've heard it. i've always accepted this excuse as a reason. but last night at bible study (yes, they even allow me in!) my pastor's wife said some truth that struck me to the core. we were praying for a marriage that is in turmoil and one person had claimed to love his wife but not be in love with her. tracy said something pretty close to this: "that's not how it works. love is not a feeling. love is a commitment."

it was as if my heart was burning from the truth of that statement.

think of relationships that didn't work out in your life or lives you touch...was it love or the COMMITMENT to love that waned?

from the safety of my incredible marriage, i can tell you that my life was changed by a love that is committed to staying together, loving each other and our faults, committing ourselves to our children and letting faith and God be our guide. drew is an amazing man, but what is even more amazing to me is that i am his & he wants no other but me. he wakes up in the morning refreshed that i'm his wife, his love, his best friend and his cohort in this life. he calls me the queen. and he is my saving grace.

quite mushy, eh? that's my life. realisitic and loving.

and let me say. marriage is hard work. and if you are fortunate enough to be invited into this job, work your ass off and you will reap MAJOR rewards.

and now, photos of drew w/ stroman at the Christmas parade this weekend, and drew helping dad put out hay in sweetwater over thanksgiving, and playing with stroman...

it is true...I HAVE ISSUES

let us begin with my current boycott. thanksgiving and Christmas are too close together. i'm boycotting. don't worry, there aren't picket signs or even any loud conversations, just the knowledge that i think these two freakin' holidays are wonderful, yet entirely too close together.

so, if given the option, i'm skipping one of them...or willing - EXTREMELY willing - to have everyone at my house in June for Thanksgiving. We'll cook turkey (fried for mere) and crank the AC on big time so that everyone can wear sweaters, etc. And oh, how the wine will flow? any takers?

today, cyd's school took part in the town's Christmas parade. i give credit for everyone i know in town saying "MERRY CHRISTMAS" vs. the damn, ol' "happy holidays" - as Kathy Griffin would say, "For Christ's Sake, it is about Baby Jesus" - regardless of your like or dislike of Ms. Griffin (my husband, he's the latter), this time of year is a celebration of the birth of Jesus...let's claim our Christian background when we can and call it what it is...PC is political crap, not political correctness.

also, we were given some tapes for cyd yesterday that go with story books - v. cool. however, finding a tape player took longer than expected. then, we got to share in the sadistic glory that is Mother Goose. Seriously, let's consider some tried and true fairy tales that most of us know -- Snow White. Instantly, you probably think of pale skin, ruby red lips and some adorable, helpful dwarfs. Let's not overlook how it was originally written. Jealous, evil witch paid off the moral-free woodcutter to take innocent Snow White to the forest, cut out her HEART (oh yeah, that's kinda morbid.) and return it on a silver platter to the witch. All because SW was prettier than the ugly witch. Weak-ass woodcutter decides SW is too pretty and instead of cutting out her heart, he abandoned her in a forest. (isn't that thoughtful, 'cause this chick has SOOO many survival skills! my girl, cyd, she knows some Bear Gryllis) Back to the music...London Bridge is falling down my fair lady, but also, someone stole something and then spent life in jail - easy to explain to our 3 year old. Oh, Susannah - don't you cry for me because I FROZE TO DEATH. Point being, we finally found a tape player and sorta wish we hadn't. Sure, you and I and all of us grew up singing these songs, but accidental exposure to life is harsh these days. You can't just leave the TV on for background noise. L&Order SVU comes on and b/4 you know it, some dead body shows up...and the questions begin.

also, have any of you looked up and thought "holy shit, i'm a horrible friend." probably not. either because you never think the words holy shit or you are great as friends and never lapse. never get self-absorbed. this week, i realized my friend failures recently. 1) my friend ash asked me to read something and i didn't when i should have. now, i've read, re-read and absorbed her feelings a/b her mom's cancer and i'm ashamed i didn't respond to ash the day she told me she had written it. i love ash, and i love her mother and i know they will defeat the cancer, but i want to be a better friend. 2) my friend meredith and her husband vic joined our church. drew and i are preparing to join, but the deal is, I KNEW MERE & VIC WERE JOINING AND i haven't even discussed it with them. i'm so proud of them & thrilled they have found a spiritual home. it's a comfortable place in life when you know where you can praise your God. Way to go Mere & Mr. Bic. sorry i'm a loser and haven't mentioned it.

also, does anyone watch Fox News? well, this week, my name (maiden & misspelled) popped up on the news - from Bethany, OK, a woman named Lauren Barnes *i was Laren Barns* was missing. Five months pregnant, it turned out that her boyfriend was arrested for killing her. OKAY people, if you don't want to play daddy, fine. WALK AWAY but don't hurt a momma and her baby. This junk is too familiar to our society. Women, especially pregnant women should be respected. And does this fool realize that his girlfriend didn't get pregnant because she kissed while wearing a bikini -- THEY were both involved. but it wasn't me...different LB. rest in peace.

there are so many other issues i have. but until i take my medicine(s) it isn't fair to go into all of it.

also boycotting people who fail to show up for photo shoots. bastards.